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Rufus and the Saucer by Edward Schaffer


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Author Topic: Rufus and the Saucer by Edward Schaffer  (Read 983 times)
BigEdLB
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« on: July 01, 2017, 04:14:51 pm »

"...and your Rufus was selected for this mission." 
One of the girl dogs was let out of the room, and Rufus and the other girl were unleashed, and we all stood back.   Rufus, being Rufus wasted no time with his newest conquest, and she didn’t put up much of a struggle.
Then when the process was done, the captain said, “We'll give Rufus a little rest.  Come this way."   They led Rufus and me to another room where a table was laid out with a decent buffet...    Like a deli.  The leader assured me that the food was Earth food from various delicatessens in the New York area.   I made myself a turkey sandwich, sharing a slice of the deli turkey with Rufus.   I engaged in conversations with several of my hosts, particularly, with my cute guide, Kira.  Turns out she had a taste for pastrami...   I told her that it is better with mustard.  She laughed, “Next time, I’ll remember the Grey Poupon”.   
Then she gave me the lowdown about herself. My supposition was correct.  She told me that her mother was English, from a farm outside Liverpool, where the crop circles were reported.  Her mom had just broken up with a boyfriend, a nasty breakup, then was taken up on a craft piloted by her dad who was making the circles in a fallow bean field.   At that point in her life, she had no desire to return to Earth, and fell in love with the charismatic captain of the ship.     
I told her that my grandfather had some sort of encounter on his ranch.  Weird stories about a father and son on a saucer, and my grandmother had given them corn on the cob.   “Do you like corn on the cob, Kira?
You know, there are plenty of fine poodle studs all over the country and world.  I am very curious, why did you folks decide I would be sympathetic?”  Kira smiled at me, but said nothing.  I looked at her in a way that told her that I needed a full answer.   The reply stunned me.  “We knew you would be sympathetic.”   I had a curious look on my face.  “Your grandfather protected by father and grandfather about 50 years ago.  Those stories he told were about my dad and grandpa.”  The odd tales my grandfather has talked about in a small circle of the family, now made sense.   “Papa and Grandpa were on a small craft and came to Earth to get some supplies.   The ship had trouble.  It made an emergency landing on your grandfather’s land.  He came out of his house and saw it.   My grandpa came out of the ship and asked him for help.   He had taken a big chance.  Apparently your grandpa had heard the New Mexico stories, and was fascinated by them.
Your grandfather said, “Come on, let get this thing in the barn.  Government types will be coming this way soon.  Nosey bureaucrats.”  Our grandfathers rolled the little ship into the barn.   Then your grandfather saw my dad, who was just a little boy, about five, peering out of the craft...  He asked if my dad was hungry.  My grandpa said that he was.   Apparently your grandmother was cooking.  Your grandfather brought out a plate of corn on the cob...  My grandpa loved corn on the cob, from earlier visits, and taught my papa how to eat it.   My papa ate it and got every kernel.   Your grandfather asked whom they needed to contact.  My grandpa said he could contact the mother ship for parts, as the radio was fine.   At that point your grandfather heard a honking horn outside.   He told my papa and grandpa to be quiet.  Your grandmother had also been told by him to stay put in the house.  Your grandfather went outside.  There was a car with US government license plates.   The driver stepped out and started to ask about strange aircraft.  Your grandfather started to talk about the crazy neighbor, Willie, and this glider he was trying to fly.  He went on -- telling these men in the car that one of these days,        “Willie is gonna get himself, ‘kilt’.”  Then he asked if that was what they were looking for, because if it was, they were wasting time.   One of the guys said they were looking for someone flying something totally unusual.  Your grandfather, guessing what they were after, said to them, ‘Gort barada nikto’.  Papa later found out it was from the movie, ‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’.   We don’t have robots that laser zap folks from the eyes. Too passé….  Besides, the pilot looked too Earthling.”  I told her that Michael Rennie, the actor who played the alien, was about as Earthling as one could get.  Continued
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